Sure, you could go to your local bookstore and spend hours in the "Relationships" aisle thumbing through dozens of books talking about the same stuff over and over and over again...or you can sit down with a few of your most trusted guy friends and find out exactly what a guy is thinking when you says he'll call you but doesn't, or says he loves you but never shows it.
Don't have any guy friends you can trust to talk to you about this? Well you're not alone. In fact, this is the case with most of us. So right now you're about to learn exactly how it is guys think.
It's no secret that sex is a huge motivational force behind the female desire to date, and this is even more true for men. While women place high importance on the physical appearance of a potential male mate, it is often the most important factor for men - above personality and character - qualities women tend to place of higher importance. The key? manipulate yourself so you're not only physically attractive (which you already are) but you're also a knockout when it comes down to personality. Together this is a combination no man can resist. But is every man right for you? Of course not! Only a very, very, VERY small percentage of men out there are worthy of your time and affection, so let's figure out how to read what men are worth your time and which ones are the time-wasters.
Below are a series of examples, first presented with a situation and a translation into what most men are REALLY thinking. If you have questions or comments about any of these, or want to contribute an example from your own dating experience, please let us know! Contact information is at the bottom of the page. So, without further ado...
Situation: He was dating a friend of yours and they just recently broke up. He approaches you...
He Says: "So now that I'm single I was wondering if you wanted to go for dinner sometime?"
He Means: Not only do I just want to sleep with you, but I want to hurt your friend while doing it.
Verdict: Don't waste your time.
Situation: You're out at a bar with a group of your girlfriends celebrating a birthday. He approaches you...
He Says: "I saw you walk in and you look great, and wanted to know if I could give you a call sometime?"
He Means: I'm drunk and want sex.
Verdict: Are you kidding me? He just told you he's only interested in you because of how you look. If you're looking for anything meaningful, don't even bother.
Situation: You're trying out one of those online dating sites for the first time. You're approached through the site by a guy...
He Says: "I saw your profile and you seem cool, and was wondering if you wanted to meet sometime?"
He Means: I like your picture.
Verdict: Message him back and find out what he's all about first. Then make your decision.
Situation: You work in the same office and see him every day. After days and weeks of small talk he approaches you...
He Says: "Look, I know we've had some time to get to know each other a little, and I want to ask you if you'd like to get together this weekend?"
He Means: I've spent some time getting to know her and I like what I've found out so far.
Verdict: Why not give it a try and see what happens?
Situation: You see him at your gym every now and again and this time he approaches you, saying more than the typical "Hi"...
He Says: "How about if you teach me your technique on that machine over there I'll make you dinner sometime?"
He Means: I'm really bad at pickup lines and this is how I tell you I'm attracted to you.
Verdict: If he's like most gym rats you're not the first girl he's tried this on. Find someone classier.
Situation: You're at a family gathering and your sister introduces you to a recently divorced friend of her's. He approaches you...
He Says: "Hi, I'm Jim. I've never met you before...do you want to go outside and have a drink with me?"
He Means: I'm on the rebound.
Verdict: Don't bother.
Situation: You're waiting for your morning coffee at the local coffeeshop and bump into the same guy you see there most mornings. After the usual small talke, he approaches you...
He Says: "You must be as addicted to this stuff as I am. I'm actually going to be here after work around 5:30 - if you're around too maybe you'll let me buy you another cup of coffee?"
He Means: I want to get to know you better in a casual, non-threatening environment.
Verdict: Go for it!
If you can take one thing away from reading this, let it be to never underestimate the male sex drive. Men are really good at masking this, and can camouflage their true intentions with talk of their feelings and emotions. Ultimately, the only way to see through this is time. Nothing can substitute for getting to know somebody, so whether you take the above advice or not, please do your best to get to know your guy before you get in too deep too quickly.
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